About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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