Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
