3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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