Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
