just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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