Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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