none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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