You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Alive.
So much puke
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
