dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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