they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
