I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
