If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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