Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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