A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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