They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
