i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
