Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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