Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
