rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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