Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
