gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
