i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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