i just had sex bonerless
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Randomize