Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
