i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
