Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
