arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
