i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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