I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
