Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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