he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
