I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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