wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
