I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
