Sponge bath it is.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
it was like eating out sand paper
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
