i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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