You're completely useless in the revolution.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just high enough for therapy.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
