Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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