we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
