So drunk, too bad you don't want this
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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