I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
