She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
