If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
