Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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