come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm like, not good at living.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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