You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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