I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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