In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I believe in your delicious
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
