after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
