margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
