I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
